you kids today with your iggy banks and azealia azalea
im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt
sometimes my laptop gets really hot and starts burning my leg but i fight through the pain because i am a blogging warrior
frozen + text posts (insp)
the greatest plan in history
They should put prizes in tampon boxes, be like yeah your period sucks but here’s 50% off of some icecream.
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?
year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!
year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.
The only reason i enjoy going to bed is so i can make stories up in my head which makes my brain think it’s actually real
omfg today a girl at school told me i was wearing the same outfit i wore yesterday
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS HILARIOUS
WE HAVE A UNIFORM
me looking at a character i love: look at this piece of shit fuckwad asshole. someone just punch him in the fucking face. terrible. disgusting. illegal trash. utter garbage. i want to strangle him. fuck him lmao FUCK HIM.
someone: That character is terrible.
"i don’t like garlic bread"